True but thats because hes a fetus.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I think i got beer on your cat.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
