Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
