first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
