I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
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