I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
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His hands were made for my vagina.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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