I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
