my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
