big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
