I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
