this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
