You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize