saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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