So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
