how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
