so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
