God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Randomize
