I think I died a long time ago.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
