Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
