I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
