to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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