I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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