She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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