How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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