His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
