so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just found puke in my bra..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
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