My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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