Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
