This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
