Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
