I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
