I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
