so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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