butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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