11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
