so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
