this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
