so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
