your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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