I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
