I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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