the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
