Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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