I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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