I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize