If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize