talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
