If i need to get strippers involved i will.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
