He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
