His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
