YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
