love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
