We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
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regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
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She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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