where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
