I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
