Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
